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by Kim Lance, associate publisher of Online Dating Magazine

Spring Cleaning Your Relationship

Take a look outside. Are there some bees buzzing or flowers blossoming on trees? Are you noticing more and more hand-holding couples on your daily walk? You may not realize it, but spring is finally here. If it still feels a little like winter in your neck of the woods, don’t worry, spring weather is right around the corner.

As this marks the first official week of spring, many people will pull out their vacuum cleaners, sort through their old files, and drop off bags full of “stuff’ at the Salvation Army as they go through the traditional “spring cleaning”. While spring cleaning is good for your house, and often your sanity, you can also use the concept of spring cleaning and apply it to your relationship.

Spring is a time when many look at their current situation and say “out with the old, and in with the new”. Now, I’m not saying it is a time to break your relationship ties (unless it is a bad relationship that needs to end anyway) but I am saying that spring can remind us to let all of the old memories of past relationships go and work on building and nurturing your current or a new relationship. By focusing on future relationship growth and letting go of the past, you and your partner can further connect and appreciate each other.

 

Out With the Old
Just as with our homes, our hearts and minds store a lot of junk. Painful memories of a past break up, insecurities because of a previous relationship that turned bad, unwanted longing for old boyfriends or girlfriends. While these thoughts can weigh heavy on your heart in the beginning, as time passes, many of these memories can fade, freeing you to be able to find and commit to a new, positive relationship.

While its true that most people can move on with time, there are a lot of things that can hinder that process and possibly jeopardize a new relationship or come back to haunt you after you have fallen in love with someone else. Imagine, just as you start to really get involved in a new relationship and develop strong feelings for your new partner, you stumble upon that stuffed animal your ex gave you or the CD of love songs you created back in your last relationship. Finding this old memorabilia has the potential to do one of two things – bring back upsetting feelings and anxieties or make you nostalgic for your previous partner. Neither of these two scenarios is good for a new relationship and they can, quite probably, disconnect you from your current partner.

Take the opportunity of “spring cleaning” to get rid of any old items that may jog memories of past relationships. Yes, I know what many of you pack-rats may be thinking, but, let me say this…what is the point of holding onto those old love letters and gifts? Honestly, all they can do is make you think about your past relationship rather than helping you to focus on your current one. Also, how is your partner going to feel if you are still holding on to that letterman jacket that your first love gave to you? Holding on to items from past relationships will not only contribute to your own emotional roller coaster, but can also cause detachment, questioning, and suspicion within a new relationship. Remember, there is a very good reason why you broke up. Just get rid of it!

In With The New
Spring is symbolic of new beginnings, birth, and new growth. Use that symbolism to help further build your relationship. Whether it is a new relationship, as many new loves blossom this time of year, or a relationship that has lasted strongly for years, the start of spring is a great time to connect or reconnect with your partner in new and exciting ways.

Use the weather and scenery change as an excuse to start a new outdoor activity together. Or, decorate your home with new items that remind you of your current relationship in exchange for tossing out the old relationship memorabilia. Try to learn something new about your partner or reveal something new to your partner about you. Develop new communication strategies or find a new favorite date spot if your usual spot is getting tiresome. Whatever you choose, it will help to bring vivacity and increased spark to your relationship, and that, in turn, will bring you and your partner closer together.

Spring is a Time for Love
Whether you are in a dedicated relationship, single and flirting, or in the early butterfly stages of couplehood, the warm weather changes, beautiful colors, and friendly feelings of spring are bound to get you in a lovey-dovey mood. It’s a time when you will say good-bye to the winter blues and hello to spring fever! Let spring also be a time to let go of past relationship burdens and nurture current and new relationship joys.




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