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Connect
by Kim Lance,
associate publisher of Online Dating Magazine
Spring Cleaning
Your Relationship
Take a look outside. Are there some bees
buzzing or flowers blossoming on trees? Are you noticing
more and more hand-holding couples on your daily walk?
You may not realize it, but spring is finally here.
If it still feels a little like winter in your neck
of the woods, don’t worry, spring weather is
right around the corner.
As this marks the first official week of spring, many
people will pull out their vacuum cleaners, sort through
their old files, and drop off bags full of “stuff’ at
the Salvation Army as they go through the traditional “spring
cleaning”. While spring cleaning is good for
your house, and often your sanity, you can also use
the concept of spring cleaning and apply it to your
relationship.
Spring is a time when many look at their current situation
and say “out with the old, and in with the new”.
Now, I’m not saying it is a time to break your
relationship ties (unless it is a bad relationship
that needs to end anyway) but I am saying that spring
can remind us to let all of the old memories of past
relationships go and work on building and nurturing
your current or a new relationship. By focusing on
future relationship growth and letting go of the past,
you and your partner can further connect and appreciate
each other.
Out With the Old
Just as with our homes, our hearts and minds store a
lot of junk. Painful memories of a past break up, insecurities
because of a previous relationship that turned bad, unwanted
longing for old boyfriends or girlfriends. While these
thoughts can weigh heavy on your heart in the beginning,
as time passes, many of these memories can fade, freeing
you to be able to find and commit to a new, positive
relationship.
While its true that most people can move on with time,
there are a lot of things that can hinder that process
and possibly jeopardize a new relationship or come
back to haunt you after you have fallen in love with
someone else. Imagine, just as you start to really
get involved in a new relationship and develop strong
feelings for your new partner, you stumble upon that
stuffed animal your ex gave you or the CD of love songs
you created back in your last relationship. Finding
this old memorabilia has the potential to do one of
two things – bring back upsetting feelings and
anxieties or make you nostalgic for your previous partner.
Neither of these two scenarios is good for a new relationship
and they can, quite probably, disconnect you from your
current partner.
Take the opportunity of “spring cleaning” to
get rid of any old items that may jog memories of past
relationships. Yes, I know what many of you pack-rats
may be thinking, but, let me say this…what is
the point of holding onto those old love letters and
gifts? Honestly, all they can do is make you think
about your past relationship rather than helping you
to focus on your current one. Also, how is your partner
going to feel if you are still holding on to that letterman
jacket that your first love gave to you? Holding on
to items from past relationships will not only contribute
to your own emotional roller coaster, but can also
cause detachment, questioning, and suspicion within
a new relationship. Remember, there is a very good
reason why you broke up. Just get rid of it!
In With The New
Spring is symbolic of new beginnings, birth, and new
growth. Use that symbolism to help further build
your relationship. Whether it is a new relationship,
as many new loves blossom this time of year, or a
relationship that has lasted strongly for years,
the start of spring is a great time to connect or
reconnect with your partner in new and exciting ways.
Use the weather and scenery change as an excuse to
start a new outdoor activity together. Or, decorate
your home with new items that remind you of your current
relationship in exchange for tossing out the old relationship
memorabilia. Try to learn something new about your
partner or reveal something new to your partner about
you. Develop new communication strategies or find a
new favorite date spot if your usual spot is getting
tiresome. Whatever you choose, it will help to bring
vivacity and increased spark to your relationship,
and that, in turn, will bring you and your partner
closer together.
Spring is a Time for Love
Whether you are in a dedicated relationship, single
and flirting, or in the early butterfly stages of
couplehood, the warm weather changes, beautiful colors,
and friendly feelings of spring are bound to get
you in a lovey-dovey mood. It’s a time when
you will say good-bye to the winter blues and hello
to spring fever! Let spring also be a time to let
go of past relationship burdens and nurture current
and new relationship joys.
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