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A Better You
by Jo Ann Fore

The Truth, Nothing But the Truth, Please

"Woman Delivers Own Baby While Skydiving“

“Scientist proves…earth is going through menopause! Global warming is Earth’s hot flashes“

“Credit card explodes when woman goes over limit"

I detest the tabloids. They’re preposterous and deceitful. But I have to admit, like most people; occasionally I steal a glance at the latest headlines. Maybe I’m drawn in by the utmost ridiculousness of it all.

Come to think of it, I’ve found myself in a few relationships like that.

I once was involved with someone who lied as much as Pinocchio. But, unlike Pinocchio, this master of deception had no blatant outward signs of his deceit. A narcissist, he lied so much he even began to believe, and live, his own lies. The worse part of it all, he was such a believable liar. Even when you knew he was lying, part of you still begged to believe him. Habitual liars are very convincing people.

Some of these liars deserve their own headlines.

"Man dates woman for three years; forgot to tell her he got married a year after they started dating."

"Wife sends husband out of state to find work; he starts life, with another woman, instead. Never calls home."

People who lie usually lie about who, or what, they are. One of the biggest lies you may encounter is whether or not someone is married. Lies about their choice of career usually follow, and lastly, their financial standing.

Ahha! People Profiler, specialists in relationship background checks, lists specific warning signs, on their Website, to help you spot a potential liar:

1. Vagueness and Evasiveness: These traits tip you off. The manifestation of either of these less than desirable attributes should alert you to at least the possibility of deception.

2. Deception: When your mate deceives you - especially if you're in love - tenderness and affection may cloud and diminish the strength of your suspicions. You may dismiss or shrug off those little out-of-context, unexplainable incidents and chalk things up to coincidence.

3. Suspicion: Mother Nature's most overlooked and underrated defense mechanism is suspicion, which manifests itself strongest when one perceives one is being lied to. If you suspect something is wrong, something is probably wrong.

Sometimes, liars get caught, and still manage to keep their mate. Why is it allowed? The partners may fall prey to a well-rehearsed, manipulative, speech that touts a flaw in the liar’s character that forced them to lie.

“I was afraid of losing you! You’re such an amazing person, and so much better than me. I lied, at first, in order to get you to like me. I was going to tell you the truth in the end,” they tearfully confess.

Don’t believe it! You deserve honesty in a relationship. It’s important to protect yourself from deception. There’s a great article on how to tell if your partner is lying here. Another one can be found here.

Honesty is essential for a healthy relationship. I don’t believe that a relationship can survive without it. It’s a gut instinct. The same kind instinct that tells me microscopic aliens really aren’t infesting my carpet.

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