| Online
Dating Magazine > Columns > A
Better You > 35
A Better You
by Jo Ann
Fore
The
Truth, Nothing But the Truth, Please
"Woman
Delivers Own Baby While Skydiving“
“Scientist
proves…earth is going through menopause! Global
warming is Earth’s hot flashes“
“Credit
card explodes when woman goes over limit"
Are
these real headlines? (Don’t laugh - some believe
they are.) Are they made up? It doesn’t matter – I
don’t believe them. And, you know why I don’t
believe them? That information came from the same newspaper
that told me “microscopic aliens are infesting
my carpet!” (see Top 10 Tabloid Headlines here).
I
detest the tabloids. They’re preposterous and
deceitful. But I have to admit, like most people; occasionally
I steal a glance at the latest headlines. Maybe I’m
drawn in by the utmost ridiculousness of it all.
Come
to think of it, I’ve found myself in a few relationships
like that.
I
once was involved with someone who lied as much as
Pinocchio. But, unlike Pinocchio, this master of
deception had no blatant outward signs of his deceit.
A narcissist, he lied so much he even began to believe,
and live, his own lies. The worse part of it all, he
was such a believable liar. Even when you knew he was
lying, part of you still begged to believe him. Habitual
liars are very convincing people.
Some
of these liars deserve their own headlines.
"Man
dates woman for three years; forgot to tell her he
got married a year after they started dating."
"Wife
sends husband out of state to find work; he starts
life, with another woman, instead. Never calls home."
People
who lie usually lie about who, or what, they are.
One of the biggest lies you may encounter is whether
or not someone is married. Lies about their choice
of career usually follow, and lastly, their financial
standing.
Ahha!
People Profiler,
specialists in relationship background checks, lists
specific warning signs, on their Website, to help you spot
a potential liar:
1.
Vagueness and Evasiveness: These traits tip you off.
The manifestation of either of these less than desirable
attributes should alert you to at least the possibility
of deception.
2.
Deception: When your mate deceives you - especially
if you're in love - tenderness and affection may
cloud and diminish the strength of your suspicions.
You may dismiss or shrug off those little out-of-context,
unexplainable incidents and chalk things up to coincidence.
3.
Suspicion: Mother Nature's most overlooked and underrated
defense mechanism is suspicion, which manifests itself
strongest when one perceives one is being lied to.
If you suspect something is wrong, something is probably
wrong.
Sometimes,
liars get caught, and still manage to keep their mate.
Why is it allowed? The partners may fall prey to a
well-rehearsed, manipulative, speech that touts a flaw
in the liar’s character that forced them to lie.
“I
was afraid of losing you! You’re such an amazing
person, and so much better than me. I lied, at first,
in order to get you to like me. I was going to tell
you the truth in the end,” they tearfully confess.
Don’t
believe it! You deserve honesty in a relationship.
It’s important to protect yourself from deception.
There’s a great article on how to tell if your
partner is lying here. Another
one can be found here.
Honesty
is essential for a healthy relationship. I don’t believe that a relationship can survive
without it. It’s a gut instinct. The same kind
instinct that tells me microscopic aliens really aren’t
infesting my carpet.
Jo
Ann Fore welcomes your comments about this article or suggestions
for material you would like to see in future articles.
Email her at: JoAnnFore@msn.com. A
Better You is published every Saturday.
Sign Up for Our Free Newsletter
|
All
Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is ©
copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may
not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.
Do you agree or disagree with this
article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter
to the Editor today.
|
