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A Better You
by Jo Ann
Fore
Mental
Screen:
Finding Truth in Our Daily Routine
"I
heard my 13-year-old daughter, Tabitha, in her bedroom. "Finally
brothers, whatever is noble – “
“No
wait, finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever
is noble, whatever is admirable –“
“No,
that's not it either! Whatever is pure, or is it
whatever is right?" Exasperated, she yelled, "MOM!
I just can't get it. Will you please help me?"
Cramming
for an exam, especially in Bible class, was always
a stressful time at our house.
The
Battlefield of Single Parenting
"This is the last thing I feel like
doing tonight," I muttered, bolting up the stairs. "I'm
exhausted. I'm hungry. And she has such a hard time
with memorization. Lord, why tonight? I just don't
have the energy!"
But
I walked through her bedroom door, spotted her buried
beneath piles of wadded paper, and was filled with
compassion.
“O.K. honey,
let’s take a look at it.”
We
spent the majority of our time engaged in the mother-daughter
dance of, ‘Do you want my help or not?’ Two
hours later, we decided her broken recital of the memory
verse was enough to make a good grade. We walked away,
depleted, without much to say to each other the rest
of the evening.
I
started dinner. It suddenly hit me that I’d missed a unique opportunity to go beyond
the surface need of help with homework. I was too tired.
I didn’t have time to deal with the real life
issues – her insecurity, lack of confidence and
inadequate study skills– because I was exhausted
with my own struggle from our daily routine.
I
battled each day to juggle my career and my family
life. As a single parent, odds seemed insurmountable
at times. I needed the income my career provided,
yet the travel it required often pulled me away from
home. And that left Tabitha spending a lot of time
with friends and relatives.
I
desired so many good things for Tabitha, but when
would we have the time?
As
an advertising director for a national magazine,
I attended enough motivational seminars to understand
my attitude is often a direct reflection of what
I feed my mind. I had no problem applying that to
my career. I was consistently one of the company's
top salespeople.
Yet
accolades didn’t help in the battleground of my single-parent
home. Somehow, I left all the positive thinking at
the office. I didn't have the strength to apply it
to my daily life. At times, my negative thoughts overwhelmed
me.
Practical
Application
Several months into our battle with the
daily routine, I had an early morning epiphany. The
verse my daughter was trying to memorize that night
came to my mind.
"Finally, brothers, whatever
is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever
is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy,
think about such things." Phil 4:8 (Holy Bible,
NIV, Zondervan Publishing)
That’s it! More than
just planting positive thoughts in my mind, I needed
to refocus my negative thoughts – replace them
with positive ones. It was time to put into use these
words of old, and practically apply the principles
in my daily life.
The
insight the author shared, through this verse, began
to shape me. Instead of being negative about my shortcomings,
I learned to dwell on things that were honorable
and noble about my life; things that were free from
moral fault or guilt; things that were lovely; and
things that were admirable or deserved esteem.
Mental
Screen
Finally, I got it. What I think does impact
what I do and who I am – at home
and at work! I need to filter the negative thoughts
of financial worry, stress, fatigue, and indecision
that often immobilized me. It’s a conscious choice.
And this verse is my plumb line.
Using
this screen, I could learn to control my negative
thoughts. My circumstances don’t have to overwhelm me. What a defining moment.
I
would like to say the financial worry, stress, and
the fatigue of being a single parent immediately dissipated,
but it didn't. What did change was the way I felt when
I faced those same circumstances. When negative thoughts
threatened me again, I slowly refused them. Then, I
replaced them with thoughts of truth.
Although
my circumstances didn't change right away, my attitude
did. And, I thought I was helping my daughter with
her homework.
Jo
Ann Fore welcomes your comments about this article or suggestions
for material you would like to see in future articles.
Email her at: JoAnnFore@msn.com. A
Better You is published every Saturday.
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