| Online
Dating Magazine > Columns > A
Better You > 29
A Better You
by Jo Ann
Fore
New
Years Resolutions:
Friend or Foe?
How
many times have you made New Years Resolutions – only
to break them?
You’re in good company. According
to a study done by Stephen Shapiro, president of
Goalfree.com (www.stephenshaprio.com), only 8% of
Americans say they achieve their New Years Resolutions.
Another survey, conducted by motivational speaker
Gail Kasper (www.gailkasper.com) shows us that only
9% of Americans are serious about achieving their
goals; 51% don’t have New Years Resolutions,
and of those that do, 79% don’t have a plan
to achieve them.
Why
do we do this to ourselves? Is there hope in
New Year’s
resolutions, or are we setting ourselves up for failure?
The
primary motivation behind resolutions is the desire
to change. We see something we’re doing
that isn’t
good for us – overeating, smoking, or drinking – and
long to change it. We recognize that we aren’t
doing something that we really want to – starting
our own business, writing that novel, or finding
a good relationship – and aspire to do something
about it. So, we join the 49% of Americans who choose
one month out of the year to focus on the things
about our life we’d like to change, and resolve
to take action.
But
then we find that change takes time; it takes energy;
and sometimes, it takes money. And some of us fail.
Most of us. I’m thinking
it might be time for a new approach.
It’s good
to evaluate our lives. Positive change is good. Yet,
if we pour all of our energy into making, or breaking,
a handful of resolutions and then fail – it’s
quite discouraging. Most people, when they fail at
their initial try, give up completely on the resolution. “At
least I tried, I just couldn’t
do it,” they confess in defeat. However, the
pressure of failure can be eliminated by taking the
goal and making it a lifestyle change.
Goal
setting is important. Those who set goals are more
inclined to achieve them. Yet people often turn long-term
goals into short-term goals and become discouraged
too quickly if they don’t
see great daily advances toward the goal. Lifestyle
changes like healthy eating, a permanent relationship,
or taking time to pursue our personal interests do
not happen in just one month out of the whole year – it
has to be a lifestyle change.
With
a lifestyle change, we can overcome the failures
along the way. Goals that are too rigid don’t allow for failure
of any type. Let’s
face it; we can’t always control what happens
to us in life. And, one bad day doesn’t have
to ruin our whole focus. We need the freedom to experience
fresh starts in the midst of our goals: do-over’s.
For
example, one person’s desired goal – lifestyle
change – is to lose twenty pounds. Is losing
that twenty pounds within a month a feasible plan?
Maybe for some, but not for most. This goal-setter
feels the pressure. Pressure creates stress, and
what does stress do for an overeater? It makes them
eat! Stressed out, the goal-setter overeats, loses
sight of the goal, and in their mind – fails.
However,
if the goal-setter chooses to focus on a long-term
change, they can exercise a “fresh
start” option.
The overeater makes a choice to begin again. Face
the failure, become aware of what needs to be done
differently, and take the next tiny step. Start small
and go forward again with the goal in sight. Steady
changes are lasting changes.
Support
is also important during a lifestyle change. Surround
yourself with like-minded people when you are looking
to make a permanent change. If you want to lose weight,
hang out with people who are on diets; if you need
to stop smoking – get around people
who have successfully stopped and understand the
journey; if you aspire to write, join a local writers
group.
Here’s
a few helpful links to get you started if you’re
considering a lifestyle change for 2007:
» Smoking
Cessation
» Lose
Weight
» Alcohol
Abuse
» Finances
» Writers
Groups
» Relationships
As
for me, I’m starting 2007 without pressure.
My New Year’s resolution: No more broken New
Year’s
resolutions.
Jo
Ann Fore welcomes your comments about this article or suggestions
for material you would like to see in future articles.
Email her at: JoAnnFore@msn.com. A
Better You is published every Saturday.
> Get $79 Off a 3 Month Subscription to PerfectMatch.com!
 <
Offer only available via the above link. Sign up and save!
All
Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is ©
copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may
not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.
Do you agree or disagree with this
article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter
to the Editor today.
|
