What is a Mentor?
A mentor is someone who we can trust
to guide us through life decisions, someone who will
take the time to come
alongside of us. Sharing from their own life experience,
mentors teach ways that will help individuals make
better choices. They coach, they give instruction,
and often, they just listen.
“A mentor is someone you can be real with—about
the hard things in your life – and they won’t
turn and leave,” shares Karen Trigg, a mentor
of college-aged individuals. “Mentors speak truth
into your life and encourage you in the things that
make a difference for the long run.”
Mentors in Action
Mentors are imperative to personal growth.
A few years ago, I began a mentoring relationship
that helped prepare
me for my marriage to a wonderful husband. My mentor
taught me how important relationships are in life—that
successful relationships require trust and vulnerability.
At the time, I was juggling a demanding
career with being a single parent, and I didn’t make time
for close friendships. I socialized, but only on the
surface. It took time and vulnerability for friendships
to go deeper, and I wasn’t willing to give up
either.
But, sometimes mentoring relationships
just happen. My mentor and I worked at the same company
together.
She had qualities I admired and respected. And there
was something different about her. I noticed when she
talked to people, she really ‘talked’ to
them.
One day, she walked into my office. “I’d
really like to get to know you better.”
A red flag went up immediately. I don’t
have time for this. How can I possibly tell her?
“You are great to be around in the office, but
I really don’t have time for anything else,” I
stammered. “Life is just too busy for me to have
close friendships. I’m sorry.”
A perfectionist, and admitted workaholic, one of the
most difficult things for me to do was to be vulnerable.
From a distance, I watched women in intimate friendships.
A pair of friends sits in the corner of the restaurant,
sipping coffee, tears fall softly as they discuss a
crisis. One takes the others hand, pats it, and nods
her head compassionately.
That’s what my co-worker had in mind. I just
knew it. And I wasn’t willing. Actually – I
didn’t know how – so I convinced myself
that I had no need or desire for relationships like
that.
Somehow, I felt that if I openly shared
my doubts, fears, or problems, then people would
realize I didn’t
really have it together after all. They might think
I was a fake, or a failure, and I couldn’t stand
that.
So, I kept my distance.
Lessons from a Mentor
But one night I had a major crisis.
With nowhere to turn, I remembered my co-workers
attempt to reach out
to me. I called her. We talked. She taught me when
you are hurting, and need counsel; it helps to talk
to someone who cares—someone who believes in
you.
We talked through my crisis – and we kept talking.
We talked while my teenager learned to drive. We talked
through my divorce. We talked when my faith grew weak.
We talked when I starting dating again. We talked when
I opened up my heart, and learned to be vulnerable
enough to trust my new husband. We talked when I was
struck with an illness that lasted 18 months. We talked
through surgeries, a career change, and my daughter’s
graduation. We haven’t stopped talking since.
My mentor taught me that close relationships are vital
in life. I discovered a sense of healing and restoration.
The relationship with my mentor propelled me from being
a shy, self-focused individual to one who now enjoys
intimate relationships with others.
I read once that over half of all the Nobel Prize
winners were mentored by other Nobel Prize winners.
These mentors were simply sharing what they knew with
someone they believed in.
Mentors do matter. Have you considered the impact
one could have in your life?
