The competition for attention on online dating services is intense. So intense, in fact, that some people resort to lying or posting outdated photos in an attempt to attract that next date.
It’s vital that you are honest in your profile and through your photos so that you don’t meet (or interact) with others under false pretenses.
SEE ALSO: Better Online Dating Profile Tips
So then what are some important things you can do to build a better profile? Here are three specific profile tips you can use to improve your profile now:
1) Avoid Negativity
Have you ever gone out on a first date where the person you were with complained about his/her work, ex, etc? Such negative talk is a major turnoff. Likewise, negativity is a major turnoff in your profile. Being positive is like a magnet. Being negative is like wearing a skunk aroma. Here’s how one person actually began her profile:
“To be quite honest, I have been putting this off as long as possible. I have friends who use Match and have had some terrible dates.”
This begs to ask, “what are you doing here?” Now contrast that to this profile introduction:
“I’ve heard online dating is a great way to meet awesome people and that’s why I want to meet you.”
Which one of these profile intros is more attractive? The one who wants to date “losers” or the one that wants to date “winners?” Psychologically, everyone wants to be a winner. Therefore in your profile, avoid anything negative like the plague. Be positive.
If you have anything negative in your profile (“I hate country music,” “the last guy I dated was a liar and cheater,” “I’m sick of being alone,” “I’m sick of the bar scene,” etc.) then go edit it out immediately and replace it with something positive (“I love independent music and artists, like…”). Always be positive; not just in your profile, but also in life.
2) Go From Typical to Unique
Read this profile and tell me if you recognize it:
“I am a fun person who loves movies and music. I like walks on the beach, good conversation, and dining out. I’m looking for someone who is fun and can make me laugh.”
Unfortunately, the above describes most profiles – typical and non-informative. Beef up your profile to be more descriptive and unique. Instead of “I like movies,” say “my favorite movie is ____ because _______” or use a movie character to describe you. “I’m a lot like _____ in ______ because _______.”
Use clever words that are descriptive. Instead of saying “on hot days I like to go to the ocean or on a hike,” say, “on a sizzling day my adventurous side leads me to traversing the ocean on a sailboat or discovering a new waterfall that I can cool off under.”
Instead of “I like to discover new things,” say, “I’m a lot like Indiana Jones in that I love exploring the mysteries of life, while educating my mind to appreciate new things.”
Strive to give your profile some pizzazz by spicing it up sentence by sentence. Be descriptive, unique, and fun!
3) Filter Out Undesirables
Your profile isn’t about getting responses. It is about getting responses from the type of person you are attracted to. With that in mind, you can use descriptions to help narrow your focus to what you want so that you get responses from who you’re looking for.
Instead of “I’m looking for someone fun and humorous,” say, “I’m looking for a lighthearted man between the ages of 24 and 29 who enjoys the humorous side of life. If you are clean-shaven and can hold a conversation during a 150 mile car journey, then we may be a match. Email me.”
In the above example, you created three filters – an age filter (24 and 29), and appearance filter (clean-shaven) and a communication filter (good-communicator). And you did it without offending. But you also created a response filter (“…we may be a match. Email me.”) You’ve helped tell the person what the next step is if they meet your criteria. You’ve created a call to action, which will help direct interested parties to email you versus waiting.
Now some people don’t believe in these type of filters because it may limit your ability to find your true love. If that’s you, don’t use them. However, some people are insistent that they know exactly what they want and don’t want to search outside of those parameters. If this is you, then use filters in your descriptions.
4) Post Fun Photos
Research shows that online dating profiles with photos get a far superior number of clicks than those without photos. Photos you post should be solo shots that show you as warm, fun, and happy. That means to SMILE.
Change your header message and main photo often. It keeps it fresh and interesting for people doing searches and increases the chances of it being viewed. Be creative. View some of our Top 10 lists of funny and philosophical profile headers.
A great way to make your profile better is to analyze profiles you really like. What is it that you like about them? What makes the profiles different?
Now what will you do to make your profile unique?
(Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in 2007 and updated in 2015)